By David Lee
It started out as an average August day, hot and sunny. I can not forget that day because it is recorded in my memory bank as an extremely rare and very special day spent in this haven of concentrated agony. As my seemingly endless misfortune would have it I am a prisoner serving a life sentence in one of Pennsylvania’s many prisons spread mostly throughout the rural areas of PA. during one of our annual picnics I was provided with the honor of being able to sit down and seriously dialogue with an attractive and dynamic woman. Walidah Imarisha works with an organization known as the Human Rights Coalition (HRC). We had been corresponding with each other for a few years because I am a member of HRC’s advisory counsel and we aid the organization with our personal insight and knowledge. However, we had never personally met, until that hot day in August.
The last Sunday in August is the day which members of the Pennsylvania’s Lifers Association (PLA) are permitted to attend the annual picnic. In order to attend the picnic you must first be in the unlucky category of having a life sentence; second, you must be a paid member of the PLA; third, pay the fee for the meal ticket which is usually around $13.00 or so, and lastly you have to stay misconduct free because you must be a custody level (3) which is the best a lifer can have. Now, each member has an opportunity to invite up to four personal guests as long as they are able to pay for their meal tickets. And for those who can not get a visitor for the day, they can attend solo. Many prisoners do go out solo to enjoy some decent food and hopefully the company of some warm people willing to share their time and thoughts, at least for a couple of hours, with some unfortunate individuals like myself. Both the food and the slight chance to engage in meaningful conversation with someone able to express something beyond the typical nonsense heard through the better part of an average day are important to a person being deprived of such basic human desires. Nevertheless, I want to momentarily focus on the food because on this particular summer day, I was in the unlucky category of not having a visitor for the vent. Therefore, having the chance to dine on some decent food was my primary focus for the day, and after almost two long decades of a caged reality, it is good to have some pleasant moments to think about at night. Now the menu for the occasion consisted of potato salad, seafood salad, fruit salad, pie, sliced turkey, roast beef, barbecue beef and last but certainly not least fried chicken. Personally, I sincerely enjoy the taste of some well cooked friend chicken. However, it is not something we would normally have served in prison. Actually outside of such special events, we don’t get a chance to relish the flavor of fried chicken, or any other savory food products. Our diet consists mostly of enough bland food to keep up alive, so taste is certainly not even a consideration in food preparation in prison.
Here I am out on a lone mission to satisfy my appetite for some good food and while waiting in line to get my plate, I happen to take notice of a beautiful woman walking through the doors of the visiting room yard. Of course, I did not stare out of a sense of respect for her and family alike, but I had to take that second glance because she possessed a powerful presence to go along with her awesome beauty. After that stunning experience, I grabbed my food and returned to my seat to throw down. I was able to get six pieces of chicken by trading off the beef products. Originally we were only given three pieces of chicken per person. After about twenty minutes of some serious eating, I knocked off the sliced turkey, pie and two pieces of chicken. It was time to take a break in order to digest a little bit, and then I’ll knock the rest of the food down with ease, I thought. Meanwhile I figured it was a good time to use my four photo tickets, especially since they were nonrefundable. While searching for one of the camera men to take the pictures, I overheard the beautiful woman who I had seen make the grand entrance earlier ask the camera man did he know who David Lee is, and without the slightest bit of hesitation, I excitedly spoke up. I am David Lee! Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks; I was speaking to Walidah!
It had totally slipped my mind that Walidah was scheduled to come in as a VIP guest because the paperwork had been submitted months in advance by the former PLA President Carl Daniels. Carl is a trusted friend and he had transferred shortly after the paperwork was submitted. In the emotional mix of having to part with a person I place a tremendous amount of trust in, I sort of lost mental track of some things, including the VIP guest list. The moment which was to serve as a catalyst for a different type of emotional surge had just landed directly in front of me without any prior warning. We sat down and conversed for about two hours about many issues. Of course we discussed HRC business along with other relevant political issues. But what I needed to hear was a woman’s perspective on some of the issues which I’ve been attempting to gain more knowledge and understanding of. One such issues was the emotional disposition of women in general. I had wanted her opinion because through my observations of a lot of men, I’ve been able to witness an emotional imbalance which is extremely detrimental and most men are in denial about their emotions, so the problems just grow. She suggested that women had a lot of similar issues which needed to be addressed as well. We shared opinions on many other issues as our conversation sailed along and time seemed to just fly away as if I were in some sort of trance. The simple fried chicken expedition had transformed into something much greater and I was unprepared to adjust so quickly because certain emotions had been suppressed long ago as a defense mechanism.
Bam! Out of seemingly nowhere comes the dreadful announcement of the day; it was time to bring it all to an end. It just seemed too soon to allow such a stimulating experience to end so recklessly, so bluntly. It felt more like an emotional crash than the mere announcement it was supposed to be, notwithstanding deep down I knew there were other issues I needed to address. I wanted more out of my life than the fish bowl of life I presently endured. No! Actually, I need more than just mere existence to describe me. the conversation with Walidah helped me to feel alive once again, and helped me feel the presence of a woman again. These types of basic relationships between members of the opposite sex are vital to the psychological and spiritual make up of human beings and I profoundly miss having the presence of women as a part of my daily experience. I am talking about something way beyond sex. I am talking about our spiritual needs. Yes, the inner actions between woman and man which define the essence of life. I missed the innocence of being around children as they grow and develop into mature beings.
Later on that night, I was sitting in the cell reflecting on the day and I remembered that I did not return to my original table to retrieve the remainder of my fried chicken. Honestly, I do not regret that omission because the spiritual high I was on eradicated the taste for food. I really don’t know what happened to those other four piece of fried chicken, but I do know that what happened to me that day made me fully away of an emptiness in my life which makes life more incomplete than any words can express.
